For me, everyday seems like the last day of my life; everyday I wonder what if I am hacked to death today… chopped into pieces. What would happen to my children? I am all they have got. I wonder what crime I have committed. I am not a thief or a dacoit, neither have I cheated anyone… so why do I have to live with fear nowadays?
The day before my flight, four people in Bangladesh were brutally attacked by Islamic militants. One was killed and the other three were seriously wounded. Being one of the people to be threatened on grounds of speaking out against the growing intolerance in the country, I spent a sleepless night wondering if this was the last night.
In February 2013 I was one of the founding members of the Shahbag Movement, against the verdict of a war-criminal. During this movement, an Islamic fundamentalist group, Hefajat-e-Islam emerged into the political sphere to demoralise the spirit of Shahbag Movement, killing a blogger who was a member of the movement. Since then the words 'blog', 'bloggers' and 'online activists' have become a threat to both the fundamentalists and the government and the party chief of Hefajat-e-Islam introduced some very anti-women points in parliament. This was another insult to the women of Bangladesh and I felt the need to create a common platform for women which gave rise to the news blog Women Chapter.
Women Chapter is an online portal for women, particularly women journalists. It is a movement towards change, publishing stories that are not only concerned with women's issues, but also social and socio-political issues.
In recent months, due to a series of violent incidents against women, Women Chapter has received a lot of attention and people began posting vulgar and obnoxious comments on the portal. While initially, I chose to ignore the comments, I began to receive phone calls and text messages on my mobile phone. I discovered that a Facebook page had posted my photo, email address and phone number along with links to articles from the Women Chapter portal. The administrator of the Facebook page asked followers to keep an eye on me and take the ‘necessary action’.
In June, I received a phone call insisting that I stop publishing. I was told that I must understand that I am a target and that if I fail to comply with their demands, I might face dire consequences. As a result of these threats I have had to arrange a secret place for my son to live, as one of the death threats included my children.
As a woman journalist, activist and atheist, life has become more vulnerable. Recently one of the Islamic fundamentalist groups called, Ansarullah Bangla Team (ABT) sent warnings to all the newspapers advising that all female journalists must be sacked.
In the back of my mind I always have this feeling that I am being watched. I feel a shiver in my spine when I climb up the dark staircase of my home every night.
Every moment that I survive, I get ready for the next moment. Every morning I think every day is my last day and I survive only by seconds as no one knows who is next to be killed.
In the back of my mind I always have this feeling that I am being watched. I feel a shiver in my spine when I climb up the dark staircase of my home every night.
